Posts Tagged ‘sex’

SPEAK HER SEX LANGUAGE
Six simple linguistic cues that tell her you’re the right man for tonight

“I screwed up, and want to hear your thoughts”

Whether you blabbed a good friend’s secret or reversed into your neighbour’s car, admit it. Confessing an error in judgement leaves you exposed and vulnerable, which makes a woman want to wrap you in her arms. Telling her about it wins her over even more – you’re showing that you value her opinion. The resulting combo of compassion and confidence will inspire her to make everything all better – or at least distract you.

“Did you know you have a heart-shaped freckle on the back of your left thigh?”

After the first few months of sex, top-to-toe body exploration yields to cut-to-the-chase carnality. That’s a shame, because having her body mapped puts a woman in the mood for luxurious sex. Pull aside the blankets on a weekend morning and run your eyes and fingertips from her toes to her earlobes, making admiring comments along the way. You won’t get past her elbows before she pulls you in for a deep, wet kiss.

“I’m organizing a team of volunteers to work at the spa”

Whether it’s climbing mountains with underprivileged kids or carrying the neighbour’s groceries, helping others boosts your sexy factor for two reasons. First, altruism shows her that you can put your own needs aside, which inspires her to take care of them for you. Second, your good deeds make her feel as if she’s dating up, because clearly you’re a better person than she is. She’ll want to join forces with you on your life’s quest.

“You must be exhausted. Let’s take a hot shower and I’ll scrub your back”

The number-one reason your partner turns down sex is because she’s stressed. And while she knows there’s no better cure for wound-up nerves than a spring-release orgasm, it can be hard to shake off the day’s distractions. By blasting the hot water and lighting candles, you’ll offer a tension-melting solution she can’t refuse. Once the hot water and your soapy hands chase the stress away, she’ll finally feel sexy again.

“I want to accomplish a few key things in the next five years”

When a woman hears a man talk about the future with a “whatever” attitude, her level of respect for him drops and her thighs snap shut. She was surrounded by way too many of those directionless dudes back at varsity, and she has learnt that men who have clear goals and realistic plans for achieving them are rare. She’ll appreciate your far-sightedness all the more. Making up your mind settles hers, as well.

“I’m taking the day off tomorrow to chaperon my niece’s primary school outing”

While a woman is impressed by a man who’s driven to succeed, she’s even more tantalised by a striver who’s willing to put a family member first – extra points if that family member is under 12. She’ll instantly flash-forward to when you’re the sweet, caring father of her children, at which point her heart will go all gooey. Come back from your kiddie outing with a cute stuffed animal for her and she’ll practically drag you into bed.

As hot as your sweet loving may be, sometimes your girl isn’t going to be up for getting it on. True, she might really have a headache. But there is a range of other libido killers that might surprise you. Here are some reasons why she’s not feeling so randy.

1. You’re Being Punished

Remember that little tiff you hade a couple of days ago? Well, even though you think it’s been resolved, there’s a chance she’s still peeved and withholding sex as payback. Often, when a woman thinks her guy isn’t taking here feelings into account or he’s calling all the shots, she’ll fight back with the one thing she feels like she does have control over: sex.

2. She Feels Gross

Admit it. You don’t really want to hear about her below-the-belt issues. Likewise, she probably doesn’t want to tell you when it’s that time of the month or she has that not-so-fresh feeling. “To alleviate a woman’s concerns, you need to show her that you’re comfortable with and informed about them,” says Yvonne K. Fullbright, author of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex. Relax, you don’t have to rush out and buy her tampons. Just be at ease with what’s going on down there. Once you show her that you’re cool, she might be up for action. If you’re game, great, but if not, you’ll just have to wait a few days.

3. She’s a Stress Case

For both men and women, stress can be a major mood killer. It’s tough to feel sexy when you have a million and one things on the brain. But you can help levitate her libido simply by relieving some of her anxiety. “Make her dinner, give her a massage, or offer to throw in a load of laundry,” suggests one therapist, “the more relaxed she is, the more likely she’ll be to want sex.”

4. You’re A Fierce Flirt

We all love to get attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes there are consequences to making random chicks swoon. “If you’re outright ogling or being suggestive with another woman, that can be hurtful and demeaning to your girlfriend,” says Fullbright, “even though it’s probably harmless, she might feel inadequate and shut you out sexually because she’s feeling insecure or disrespected.” Bottom line: If you’ve spent the entire evening shamelessly chatting up other girls, don’t count on getting laid when you get home. Save your smooth lines for guys’ night.