Posts Tagged ‘libido’

Boost your libido and give her a night to remember

English: A space filling diagram of gamma-lino...

English: A space filling diagram of gamma-linolenic acid. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do as Frankie says
“Out of the 40% of people who claim to have sex more than three times a week, most are probably overestimating,” believes Dr Sarah Brewer, author of Increase Your Sex Drive. So, though you might think that everyone but you is at it like rabbits, this is unlikely to be the case. Often, adds Brewer, a decreased libido is simply the result of stress – and all you need to get back on tip-top form is to learn how to relax. Something as simple as taking a bath can significantly lower the cortisol (the stress-inducing hormone) levels in your body.

Sexy supplementation
Another way to give your sex drive a bit of a hike, explains Brewer, is to get your hands on supplements which can boost nutrients your body may be lacking. “Evening Primrose Oil is especially good; it contains the building blocks for your sex drive that 80% of us are deficient in.” Specifically the plant oil contains gamma-linolenic acid (GLA), an essential fatty acid (EFA) in the omega-6 family that cannot be made in the body. This EFA’s needed for maintenance of the reproductive processes, as well as normal brain function, growth and development and regulation of metabolism.

Ginseng supplements may also work. “Not only do they have properties which help the body adapt to stress, they can also have aphrodisiac benefits,” says Brewer. A standard multi-vitamin supplement with added minerals is also a good idea. Try Holland & Barrett‘s ABC Plus (£4.99 for 100).

Know your cycles
Though they’re not so pronounced as in women, hormone cycles also occur in men. Levels of testosterone, for instance, vary throughout the month. This may be due to a throwback evolutionary pressure on men to raise and subdue sexual activity in harmony with female fertility. Sex therapist Suzie Hayman suggests you look for patterns. “There may be an unconscious response to your partner’s sexual state and this can, unfortunately, be completely out of sync.” She recommends charting arousal states for both you and your partner over a few months. That way you can work out when in her cycle to get her on top of the washing machine.

As hot as your sweet loving may be, sometimes your girl isn’t going to be up for getting it on. True, she might really have a headache. But there is a range of other libido killers that might surprise you. Here are some reasons why she’s not feeling so randy.

1. You’re Being Punished

Remember that little tiff you hade a couple of days ago? Well, even though you think it’s been resolved, there’s a chance she’s still peeved and withholding sex as payback. Often, when a woman thinks her guy isn’t taking here feelings into account or he’s calling all the shots, she’ll fight back with the one thing she feels like she does have control over: sex.

2. She Feels Gross

Admit it. You don’t really want to hear about her below-the-belt issues. Likewise, she probably doesn’t want to tell you when it’s that time of the month or she has that not-so-fresh feeling. “To alleviate a woman’s concerns, you need to show her that you’re comfortable with and informed about them,” says Yvonne K. Fullbright, author of The Hot Guide to Safer Sex. Relax, you don’t have to rush out and buy her tampons. Just be at ease with what’s going on down there. Once you show her that you’re cool, she might be up for action. If you’re game, great, but if not, you’ll just have to wait a few days.

3. She’s a Stress Case

For both men and women, stress can be a major mood killer. It’s tough to feel sexy when you have a million and one things on the brain. But you can help levitate her libido simply by relieving some of her anxiety. “Make her dinner, give her a massage, or offer to throw in a load of laundry,” suggests one therapist, “the more relaxed she is, the more likely she’ll be to want sex.”

4. You’re A Fierce Flirt

We all love to get attention from the opposite sex, but sometimes there are consequences to making random chicks swoon. “If you’re outright ogling or being suggestive with another woman, that can be hurtful and demeaning to your girlfriend,” says Fullbright, “even though it’s probably harmless, she might feel inadequate and shut you out sexually because she’s feeling insecure or disrespected.” Bottom line: If you’ve spent the entire evening shamelessly chatting up other girls, don’t count on getting laid when you get home. Save your smooth lines for guys’ night.